Take Care in Searching for Consolation and Help in Grief

You want many lecturers, not one instructor; you want many gurus, not one guru; you want many books not one e book!  ~ Mehmet Murat ildan

A reader writes: One in every of my current issues has to to do with a e book I’m studying, consisting primarily of writings and ‘lectures’ by a person who claims to be an precise avatar, an actual embodiment of God Itself, and whose claims of how issues actually are, and the way a seamless life may be for anybody, are very, very near what I already believed to be essentially the most logical and smart method issues in all probability labored. BUT, a couple of of the issues he says have additionally been not solely totally different, however fairly horrifying, not less than to me.
One in every of these areas considerations what occurs with us after we lose the physique, and that’s, that our experiences from then on depend upon our frame of mind on the time of dying and the way we have thought and lived all through our bodily lives. Since my very own thoughts has been so troubled throughout a lot of my life, and notably so since my losses, with worry being the predominant emotion, this doesn’t bode effectively for me, if this ‘man’ is to be believed! It is usually claimed ( absolutely the worst factor I may have learn ) that we do not essentially see our family members both once we die or afterward, once more, relying on the above!! So something that may relieve a few of my now even larger current fears is most welcome!!!

I’m reminded of a “Q and A” column I learn a while in the past entitled The Passing of An Period. It was written by Belleruth Naparstek ~ an professional on PTSD and Guided Imagery, and a colleague for whom I’ve the best respect and admiration. Thankfully I clipped and saved a duplicate of the piece to my information, since a web-based search has didn’t find the unique. In any occasion, that is what Belleruth needed to say about “connecting with individuals who could also be extra superior spiritually” than you assume chances are you’ll be:

I’d warning you in opposition to searching for one individual to observe. To let you know the reality, I feel the guru days are over. And for these of us who did not fairly ‘get’ the demise of guru-dom instantly, we have been blessed with a number of misbehaving swamis and frisky TV pastors–everyone from the rascally Rajneesh to the weepy Jimmy Swaggart–to drive this level house.

Forking over your autonomy, will, and energy of discrimination to a ’visionary’ will not be as useful as studying from many lecturers, every of whom has many concepts and solutions, a few of that are appropriate with you and a few not. Slowly you get to form a paradigm that’s yours, primarily based on many individuals and their concepts. It is also good to hash out these concepts and chew them over with fellow seekers in these studying circles. 

In following this recommendation, I believe that you would need to quit your dependency–the concept that someplace there’s an idealized determine who will meet all of your wants, let you know the reality, present you the way in which, and do the sorting for you. It does not work that method. Finally, gurus develop into unsatisfactory as a result of nobody belongs on a pedestal. Eventually, we determine that out and really feel disenchanted. And your very want for such a instructor may depart you open for the type of guru-abuse that was occurring everywhere within the ’80s. It makes you straightforward to use.
So I want you luck in your journey, however I hope you do not keep too lengthy with anyone instructor. Permit your self to outgrow them. And attempt to eschew the kissing of hems!